If you’re wondering what it is going to take to improve your health, business, relationships, career or fitness level, the first conversation you need to have is with you.

When I first recognised that I was emotionally eating, which for me was eating to relive stress and boredom, I emptied my cupboards. If food wasn’t in the house, then I wouldn’t eat it, right? But I did. I would make the weirdest snacks from whatever bits and pieces I had left in the cupboard. I would often go for “work break” and buy myself little treats and soon, they crept back into the house. Thinking I was empowering myself, I ran this frustrating pattern for a good nine months or so.

Naturally, I was looking externally to fix my problem. If I didn’t have food in the house, then problem solved! While I was still emotionally eating, my husband was starving.

It wasn’t until the pain got too much, that I knew something else had to change, and that change was me. I decided to look inwards to understand what needed improving in me? There is no point looking externally for an internal fix. The two have no relationship.

Self-Leadership is your ability to influence yourself to achieve your goals and desired outcomes. It is being familiar with your intensions, strengths, abilities, limits and areas of resistance. To obtain the results you want in all areas of your life, the key is to get very good at leading yourself from the inside, out.

Four characteristics of effective self-leadership:

1. Be consist.

Sharon Pearson, founder of The Coaching Institute and multi-millionaire knows a thing or two about what it takes to be a successful leader says, “Self-Leadership is a lot harder than it looks. It takes all interpersonal skills to be effective. It takes all you’ve got, all of the time”. You can’t try it on and decide whether you like it or not; that is being a follower.

2. Trust yourself.

Trusting yourself is the most empowering decision you can make. It is one of the most critical success factors in your career and life. When you trust yourself you don’t hesitate to act and you create momentum that moves you and others forward. Trusting yourself includes being truthful to yourself and delivering on your promises. You need to know that you can count on you, no excuses. Others will notice, and they’ll find it attractive and support you to achieve your goal.

3. Have amazing self-awareness.

When you have amazing self-awareness you can easily and quickly recognize internal roadblocks and act accordingly. For example, you can recognise negative habits, such as choosing short-term pleasure that jeopardises long-term results. Listen to your thoughts and your emotions and pay attention to what is going on. Instead of ignoring them or giving in to them, consider whether they are driven by bad habits or actually going to help you achieve your desired outcome.

4. Know what you want.

I can’t express the importance of this enough. If you’re clear on the direction of your dreams, you’ll be able to make better decisions and spend your energy focusing on what’s important. Say “no” to anything that doesn’t move you in the right direction, or perhaps just put it on hold.

Developing your neuro pathways towards becoming a more effective self-leader takes time and discipline. Focus on building the muscles around the above three characteristics, and once you’ve strengthened these, add another and then another. Self-Leadership is your key to mastering any aspect of life.


Love, MD x